Issue #2

 Theme: “Time Travelers Wear Pajamas”

Exploring dreams, time, and parallel banana dimensions.




📰 TOP STORY OF THE WEEK:

Accidental Time Travel Reported During Bedtime Routine
A 12-year-old girl from the Selah household allegedly fell into a temporal loop while brushing her teeth. Witnesses report she brushed “for infinity,” then emerged saying, “Did I already do this?” Investigation ongoing. Suspect: The toothpaste.

🔮 MIRA’S MYSTIC MATH CORNER:

Quantum Prompt:
If dreams are portals, and pajamas are disguises, how many alternate versions of yourself are brushing teeth right now?

Equation of the Week:
🌀 T = D x I²
Where T = Time Travel, D = Dream Depth, and I = Imagination squared.

🔭 MINI MYTH LESSON:

Who’s That in the Mirror? It’s Janus!
Janus is the Roman god of beginnings and endings. He has two faces—one that looks to the past, and one that sees the future. No wonder Mondays feel weird.

“Time isn't straight—it spirals.” — Mira’s doodle in the margins

🧌 CREATURE OF THE WEEK:



Name: Meateo
Habitat: Rooftops near butcher shops, BBQ grills, and anywhere Friday meat deals are posted
Diet: Pork chops, steak tips, oxtail—especially if seasoned with garlic and fear
Fun Fact: Meateo only becomes visible while you're chewing pork chops, and if you make eye contact, you are cosmically obligated to offer him a portion—or risk your next meat dish vanishing mysteriously.

Warning: If you hear a faint snort followed by flapping wings during Friday dinner… it’s too late. He’s already on the plate.

Creature sighting and reported by: Lyric Thorne

🌈 SILLY HOROSCOPES:

  • Capricorn: That feeling you forgot something? It’s your sandwich in another timeline.

  • Leo: The wind is whispering your name. Ignore it. It’s dramatic.

  • Pisces: You might invent a new type of cereal. It will be oddly emotional.

📚 WEEKLY VOCAB WORDS:

  • Chronomancy (n.): Magic related to time

  • Soporific (adj.): Sleep-inducing

  • Paracosm (n.): A detailed imaginary world—like your room, but cooler

🧠 FUN FACTS:

  • Sloths can hold their breath longer than dolphins.

  • There are more timelines in your laundry pile than in the multiverse.

  • Jellyfish have no brains but still make great life decisions.

🧩 RIDDLE TIME:

What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?

(Answer at bottom)

🌟 FICTIONAL CELEBRITY NEWS:

Professor Parsnip, the fashionable wizard-chef, was seen in a tuxedo bathrobe at the Interdimensional Pancake Awards. He won “Most Unexpected Ingredient” for his hot sauce made of starlight and cinnamon regret.

👩‍👧 MOM’S NOTE FROM THE MYSTIC PRINCIPAL:

This week, I learned that brushing your teeth slowly can lead to visions. Or time travel. Or both. Learning happens between moments—when we pause, yawn, or forget what we were doing. Pay attention to those gaps. That’s where the magic hides.
Love from the Time Kitchen,
Mama Mira Selah

🌀 Answer to riddle: The letter "M"
 

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